Hi, I've been very absent haven't I ? My life has taken a bit of a turn as, after my husbands chest infection, he has deteriorated. I have to look after him and am a full time carer. I haven't been out since February so I'm having a bit of a time of it to put it mildly. I like to think that I am a very capable person and can cope with most things but, living with someone with dementia is very difficult. I am not going to go on about it and, we all have things to cope with but I just thought I would tell you what has been going on. I've been dealing with this for ten years now so it did start to take its toll a bit. I have been waiting for Social Services to sort out a Day Centre so that I can get out but I've been waiting six months for that and they are now telling me there are staff shortages ! They keep promising it will be soon but nothing comes of it. I wish they would just say there's a long waiting list so that I know where I stand.
Anyway, enough of the doom and gloom, have you listened to the latest and last ever Beatles offering ? It has taken me back to my teenage years when my friends and I would record any new Beatles song on a reel to reel tape recorder and just keep rewinding it to learn all the lyrics !!! I think I know pretty much every lyric that they wrote !
I have listened to so much music and watched so many films and series over the last few months as I am stuck indoors. At least I am lucky that, in these days of modern technology, there is so much to entertain me but, as human beings, we are social animals and need our contact with our friends so I am hoping that Social Services will get their finger out and give me some help soon !!!!!
Here's hoping you all haven't deserted me and will leave me a comment for my mental health 🤣🤣🤣
I am still reading your blogs and will get back to commenting on a more regular basis soon.
Lots of love,
XXXX
Welcome back, you've been missed. I am shocked to hear social services has not provided some help. When my British mother-in-law was diagnosed with ALS, a skilled carer came to her home daily and provided healthcare services. The NHS carers were outstanding. Any help would certainly reduce the hardship on you. No one person should have to do everything in this type of situation. I hope things start to get better soon. Take care Jackie.
ReplyDeleteAhwww Susan, so lovely to 'chat' again after so long. I've never reached out for help until this year as it was getting very difficult. I have had so many assessments, everyone that I have spoken to has said I desperately need help but it is very slow. Turning Point can give me 18 hours respite { a couple of hours at a time which, not seeming to be ungrateful, its not much }but when the 18 hours have been used then that's the end of it. Hopefully , we will get some help soon. XXXX
DeleteWhen my late father returned home after his second amputation, I asked the hospital how they expected me to cope. They said that social workers would come to help.... they never did. I didn't see one! However, our local Cottage Hospital offered to take him for two weeks of respite care whist I took a holiday (this happened twice). Without those short breaks I would have gone crazy. Welcome back Jacqueline; I sympathise with your plight. xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Cro ..... you have an understanding of what it is like ! As I said to Susan, I was given 18 hours respite which is taken in two hour increments but I've used half of that so, when the 18 hours have been used, that's it !!!!! I'm not a moaner but, I am a prisoner at the moment which is pretty awful along with living with someone who doesn't know who I am half the time, can't hold any kind of conversation and does the weirdest of things all day! XXXX
DeleteWelcome back. Sounds as if you have been carrying a heavy load. Let's hope you can get some adequate help soon. BTW that 18 hours - is that 18 hours a week or 18 hours in total then nothing more?
ReplyDeleteHi Toula and thanks for the welcome back. I hate to say it but, it is very difficult. The 18 hours is all you get .... when I've used them up, that's it !!!! Thats why I need the Day Centre to kick in but I'm not holding my breath about that as they keep promising but nothing comes of it. Thanks so much for commenting .... it means a lot to know that my blogging friends are out there. XXXX
DeleteI am glad to see you back here Jackie. You have been missed., and I am sorry to hear that you are having to deal with all that by yourself. Take care of yourself xx
ReplyDeleteOh JayCee, I'm so glad that you commented as I saw your blog is private and I didn't see any way of contacting you. Let me know how I can get into your blog as I miss your posts and having a ' chat ' with you ! XXXX
DeleteJackie if you email me at jcnobodyiom@gmail.com I can send you the link. JC xxx
DeleteBrilliant .... will do JayCee. XXXX
DeleteVery sorry to read this Jackie. I had a feeling something was wrong because of such a long absence from blogland. I feel for you. I have several friends who have experienced this and know how draining it is and some difficult decisions have to be faced. Aint it just the way that you never know what is around the corner. I am always here if you want to email for a natter. Rachel xxxx
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Rachel. You will know what has to be faced when living with someone with dementia 24/7. Draining is a very good word to explain it. I've hardly left the house since February. The most exciting it gets is going round the corner for prescriptions or posting a letter 🤣. Will email when I get a moment. Many thanks. XXXX
DeleteYou have been with me for years now….and I haven’t deserted you
ReplyDeleteAnd nor will I
I am hear to listen as well as blog
Remember that deArheart xx
Dearest John,
DeleteI know you are always there at the end of an email and I might email you if I need some advice. You are a dear blogging friend .... I love all of your stories and the way you write is brilliant. We all have things to deal with and this is mine at the moment. I know you will know what I am dealing with { I've been dealing with it for ten years now } Just heard today that he will be going to the Day Centre so I shall have some respite now. Thanks for being there John. 😘. XXXX
Dear Jackie, I am so saddened to read about your present situation. In your postings you have always been so positive in outlook so I know that your husband's health issues and the poor back-up that you are receiving has really hit you hard. I hope that things will soon improve and you will get the help that you need. Be sure to take some time to care for yourself, some flowers, a wicked piece of cake, whatevs. Sending you a hug and love, Rx.
ReplyDeleteThank you so, so much R ..... my blogging friends are very precious and you have stuck with me even though I have been absent ! I haven't talked about my husbands dementia on my blog as I'm sure people don't want to read about that side of my life. But it has escalated over the past 11 months and , because I haven't blogged much , I thought I should let you all know. Social Services rang me today and said he will be going to the Day Centre tomorrow so, I shall have a bit of respite and be able to leave the house for a few hours at last. Many thanks for the hug and love and I'm sending the same back to you. XXXX
DeleteOh Tom .... that's so lovely of you.I have been having a bit of a difficult time of it lately BUT ..... today Social Services rang and said they will pick Chris up tomorrow and take him to the Day Centre so I will now be able to have a bit of respite at long last.I have not really left the house for 11 months which , along with looking after someone with dementia 24/7 has taken it's toll. I thought I could cope with anything but this is so hard. Anyway, hopefully this will bring me some relief and I can now meet my friends for some social interaction. Thanks so much for your support Tom ...... it honestly means so much to me. Even though we don't meet up with our blogging friends, their friendship means so much. Sending lots of love. XXXX
ReplyDeleteHi Jackie. I like the new Beatles song but it sounds as if it could have been recorded in 1968. Maybe that's the intention.
ReplyDeleteAre there no private or charily day centrers? We have a memory group here where my wife is a volunteer leader, run by a charity. Of course, I don't know how much ability your husband has.
Hi Tasker ...... I love the way The Beatles song Now and Then sounds. I think it has that Beatles signature, especially the orchestra.
DeleteI am now sitting with my laptop and, I'm on my own !!! They finally sorted out the Day Centre and he went this morning. He will go twice a week to start with and I can add days if I want to. If they hadn't sorted it out my next step was to send him to a private one and I can still go down that route if I need to. Thanks so much for your comment .... I've been away from blogging for so long I was prepared for ' no comments '. I thought everyone might have deserted me. 🤣😂🤣 XXXX
I'm so sorry to hear this Jackie. Also very impressed that you have soldiered on in horrid circumstances....care is a hard job......hopefully you will get some free time now x
ReplyDeleteHi Libby and thank you so much for commenting after my long absence.I like to think that I am able to cope with whatever life throws at me but caring for someone with dementia 24/7 is SO hard and some of the things that he does is pretty hard to cope with daily. I really admire and respect nurses and carers that do this as a job but, they can go home after their shift, go on holiday and have a social life. I can't. BUT .... today Chris has gone to the Day Centre for the first time so I have some respite now. He will start of going twice a week which is really going to help. I promise not to go on about dementia on my blog as I'm sure people don't want to hear about it !!! Thanks so much for being there. It really means a lot. XXXX
DeleteDearest Jackie, despite knowing the circumstances you've been facing for some time now as we've been in touch, I am thrilled to know you are back here and blogging. Knowing that Chris is now getting some attention/care from others, which will enable you to have some free time, and hopefully get out more, is great news. You have been missed by many and I'm glad to see they are back leaving you comments and letting you know they too care and wish you well. Each day is precious, especially as we age and don't know how many more we will have. You need time for you now, and I just wish I could be there to help in so many ways. Please, please know that Bob and I think of you, talk about you often, and keep both of you close to our hearts and in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteI'll write again soon - meanwhile stay well and keep your chin up - you are so special Jackie dear XX
I replied to your comment Mary and it was there for a few days and then, today, it was gone !!!!! Anyway, thank you so much for your kind words .... I'm not sure that I'm worthy though 🤣 It is such a relief to know Chris will be at the Day Centre two days a week. It means I have a few hours that I don't have to watch him and worry !!! ..... and I can get out a bit more as well. Thank you both for being there ..... it means so much. I know us bloggers all live in different parts of the world and don't meet up but, these friendships are still precious and help enormously and are treasured. Sending lots of love. XXXX
DeleteGlad that the system has started moving and that you are getting a break.
ReplyDeleteI am my husband's carer too, but he isn't so far down the road...yet. Our District Nurse is a cracker and a great help facilitating movement from other departments.
Hi Gz and thank you so much for commenting here. You obviously know what it's like ! I'm so happy that you have lots of help. After 10 years and deterioration, it all took it's toll for me and I reached out for some help but it does take time. I am finally in the loop and I can't tell you the relief it was today to get that break. He will be going two days a week and I think I can add more days if I want to. Wishing you all the best in your own situation and I hope to have more ' chats ' with you in the future. Take care and look after yourself. Much love. XXXX
DeleteHi Jackie. I know you used to comment on Rachel's blog regularly and noticed you hadn't commented for a while. I am sorry to hear about your situation. I agree that humans need human interaction from time to time. I quite like the Beatle's new song - it is growing on me. I hope you get some respite from your carer's role very soon. x
ReplyDeleteHi Simone and thank you SO much for popping over and leaving me a comment. It's so kind of you. I'm not usually a moaner but life has become pretty difficult for me BUT after about 6 months, Social Services finally sorted the Day Centre so, I can now get out a little bit more and meet my friends.
DeleteI'vr listened to The Beatles new song ' Now and Then ' a few times now and I really like it. I saw The Beatles twice when I was around 13/14, once at Finsbury Park Astoria and once at Hammersmith. They were a very big part of my teenage years so Now and Then is very nostalgic and has The Beatles sound, especially the orchestral part.
Thanks so much for being here and I hope to see you pop in again. Hopefully, I will now get back to blogging more regularly again and, don't worry, it won't be doom and gloom !!! XXXX
Glad that you are finally getting some help from social services. I was quite young when the Beatles were popular but my Dad used to always play 'Michele' and other Beatles records whilst we were eating our Sunday roast! How wonderful that you saw them live twice! x
DeleteIt was amazing seeing them live, especially being a teenager. Mind you, you couldn't hear much as everyone was screaming 🤣😂🤣 My Dad was a musician in a band { along with his day job } and my Mum was a singer so there was always music on in our house and they both loved The Beatles. ' Michele ' was a favourite of my mums . XXXX
DeleteDearest Jackie, I'm so sorry to read what you've been going through. How positively awful and I hadn't any idea something was amiss in your home. Even though I can catastrophise quite readily if a loved one is uncontactable for whatever reason, when it comes to the blogfriends, I rather expect busyness is the order of the day, and golly you've had it in spades. What a relief for you that some day centre respite has finally arrived!
ReplyDeleteNow, I hope you won't drop me as a friend when I tell you I have no taste for The Beatles? Nope, never grew up with them, nor had any friends later in life that were into them. What can I say, except you adore them and I'd never hold it against you, hahahah!! xxx
Hi dear Pip and thanks so much for still being here after my long absence ! It's been a bit difficult to keep my blog up over the last 11 months but I am going to try and get back to it now that Chris is going to the Day Centre twice a week. I don't want to stop writing on my blog as I love keeping my blogging friendship with you guys. I know we don't actually meet up but you are still treasured friends and it really helps to hear from everyone when things aren't quite so good. We all have things to deal with and this is mine at the moment. Chris has only been to the Day Centre twice but I can't tell you how lovely it was to just potter around and not have to watch and worry for a few hours.
DeleteI certainly don't have a problem with you not being a Beatle fan ! I'm pretty sure you are not as old as me and, in the early 60's there wasn't as much entertainment as there is now so, for me and pretty much all of my friends, The Beatles were a wonderful distraction and a major part of my teenage years. A few preferred The Stones but, I think we all liked all of the groups that were around at that time. Also, they were British so we might have been more likely to love them and enjoy their music. There wasn't much going for teenagers in the 1950's { music and clothes wise } so, when the 1960's flourished with art, music and fashion { I was a Mod ! } sexual liberation etc, The Beatles were just part of it. The Beatles, The Rolling Stones, The Who, The Small Faces etc all made what was called The London Sound and with pirate radio stations, we teenagers lapped it up !!!!! Sorry ..... I pretty much wrote a whole post just in my reply to you !!!!! Lovely to be back ' chatting ' with you Pip. XXXX
Great blog
ReplyDeleteLoved the Christmas card , adorable xxx
ReplyDelete