IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN !!!! ..........

Well, we are now approaching December 1st, and, it's around this time that a deadly hush descends over our household .....
.......... Mr. Home starts to get a weird look on his face and his eyes glaze over and beads of sweat start to appear upon his forehead........ he opens his mouth and quietly utters those chilling words " It's that time again, isn't it ", he says in a very quiet voice.

I bury my head in my hands and quietly say, " Yes, I'm afraid it is ", and we peruse the calender for a time suitable for both of us to ...............................

CHOOSE THE CHRISTMAS TREE !!!!

It always has to be after work, therefore it is dark....VERY dark !! ..........

.......... and, it is invariably raining. It's either pouring with rain OR there has just been the worse storm of the year and everything is soaking wet and the wind is howling..........

.......... I am always wearing the wrong clothes, having been out for a Christmas lunch and then, running late, I don't have time to change ..........

.......... so, we arrive at the Garden Centre and, all of the trees are OUTSIDE, in the rain or freezing wind and we set about choosing THE ONE. We always have a seven footer so Mr. Home has to force his way to the back of the pile to pull out the one that I think could possibly be THE ONE, drag it out (remember, it's really wet) and hold it up, straight, for me to look it over. He has to turn it around, so that I can see it from all angles, until I tell him that it's not the one. This can go on for quite a while and we are getting soaked, me in my high heels and posh frock but, Mr. Home is sensibly dressed in waterproof coat.
Last year we had a bit of a disaster. I had spotted what I thought was a really good tree, but, just as we approached it, an elderly couple pushed in, grabbed it and proceeded to drag it to the netting machine. I was a little cross but, as luck would have it, I spied an even nicer one which was part of one of the displays. "Go and get that one " I told Mr. Home and, we both climbed onto the display, over some beautiful rusty railings and through some fake, decorated trees. Said tree was propped up in a zinc container. "Just pull it out" I said. Well, pulling it out was a bit of a problem. It seemed to be stuck. We pulled and we pulled and, the upshot was that the tree would not budge . It was caught on the railings. The railings all fell over like dominoes , knocking the artificial trees down. All of the decorations fell off of the trees and, three reindeer's of varying sizes made out of twigs, fell to the ground. Mr. and Mrs. Home were seen running as far away from the display as they could....AND...... I think that they have CCTV there !!!! We will try not to do anything like that this year. When we do find THE ONE, we have to go through the whole process again, on a slightly smaller scale, when we choose.......... .......... HOLLY and ...........

.......... MISTLETOE !!!!!!!!!!
I have to say that, after the tree has been chosen, we have a lovely time as, the Garden Centre that we go to is beautiful. There are always coach loads of people who come from all over the country and many foreign tourists who visit. They have the most wonderful Christmas display and, an outside ice-skating rink, where we sit, with a drink, and watch the skaters while we listen to Christmas carols.
I am hoping that, avoiding all disasters and divorce proceedings, that our tree will look something like the one above. I wish you a happy time, choosing your tree and hope you avoid any of the little mishaps that seem to happen to us, every year.

Jackie