home: unfortunate events

Monday, 9 May 2016

A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS ..... and a joke !! .....

Blogging inspiration has eluded me of late ......

..... and, I have suffered a series of unfortunate events .....

First, two GINORMOUS cold sores appeared on my top lip ..... very attractive .....

..... then, my parotid salivary gland was blocked and swelled to GINORMOUS proportions !! ..... even more attractive .....

and then, after, smashing my foot against the skirting board, giving me three bruised toes, I got a touch of sciatica .....

..... and then, as a final insult, I sprained my ankle, turning it over and falling down the garden steps. I now can't walk on it, I can't drive and my foot is the colour of a rainbow !!!!

SO .....

glass half full positively brimming over and, ever the optimist .....

here's the joke :

Late in the night, he finally regained consciousness.
He was in the hospital, in terrible pain.

He found himself in the ICU with tubes in his mouth, needles and IV drips in both arms,
a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function, and a nurse hovering over him.
He realised that he was obviously in a life- threatening situation.

The nurse gave him a serious, deep look, straight into his eyes, then spoke to him slowly
and clearly, enunciating each word and syllable, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."

Somehow he managed to mumble in reply,
"Can I feel your boobs, then?"

AND THAT, MY FRIEND, IS AN OPTIMIST!!