Friday, 4 September 2009

CHAIR AFFAIR ....a love story....

She was a bit of a lazy cushion really.....with a lack of desire to expend any effort....to relax in a comfy chair with a book, quilt over her bias binding and a tasty sweetmeat to pick at, was the order of the day.....
He was of a similar persuasion...soft buttery leather, made for comfort, a book and a beer at his side was his favourite pastime.

She was a little over 36 and longed for a partner...the words ' left on the shelf ' were beginning to haunt her and she knew that, no amount of plastic surgery was going to find her a chair....that was something that only she could do.

Oh, how she longed for marriage...to wear that beautiful ivory cover was an ambition that she had had for years..........



She decided that, tonight was the night and zipped herself into her Chanel slipcover .....


She had been out with chairs from a similar background......


............ even been to bed with a few, but it had meant nothing.....


.....but, when she met the squishy, comfy, upholstered chair, with Royalty in his webbing, it had been love at first touch.......but to no avail....she was a commoner, so , no future there.

There had been others, of course...... the gorgeous chair from the cellar.......


.....the handsome love seat from the garden........


.... the serious but, oh so intelligent winged chair from the study.............


.......... and who could forget the oh so comfortable chaise longue in the drawing room ?


A favourite dalliance had been with the old armchair from the cottage, but the age gap just wouldn't have worked, she knew that now.


She had even, once experimented with a girly pink chair in the Conservatory, but had realised that she wasn't ' that way ' at all !!!!


But no chair had ever stolen her stuffing like the white daybed overlooking the garden, in the Salon.......... but even that hadn't worked out as, horror of horrors....


.......... the daybed had been having an affair with the lovely, diaphanous and flirtatious iron chair in the Boudoir and only had buttons for her..........


....and were now the proud parents of triplets !!!! She had resigned herself that she was always meant to be alone..........


.......... a cushion never to lay with a chair ......... just a cushion among cushions......left on a shelf.....
maybe the girly pink chair in the Conservatory was still available !!!!!!!!




Jackie

















59 comments:

  1. Oh Jackie this is absolutely positively the best post ever!!! my poor round posture ball, I sit on while blogging might need a make over...or some legs & definitely a cushion or 2...have a wonderful weekend

    :) Cate

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  2. Hi J

    I love the title of your post today.
    " Chair Affair" .. Uhmm..
    I love all kind of chairs..
    Lovely post for sure.

    Wonderful Weekend!
    Julie xx

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  3. OMG Jackie, this is WITHOUT DOUBT my most favourite post of yours.....EVER!!!!! Brilliantly done....and so funny that I had to sit down at one point!!!! I am still giggling....."been out with chairs from a similar background".....hilarious!!

    Can I tell you how glad I am you are back.....thank goodness....it's a happy Friday indeed :)

    Thank you so much for your comments to me this week, you are very lovely to me. I think that we might have to have our own little "office party" this Christmas.......Crouch End sounds good to me :)

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  4. Jackie, how lovely to have you back!
    Incredible post, beautiful imagines...
    Wish you fabulous day!
    Hugs
    Magdalena/Color Sepia

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  5. PS Forgot to say how much I loved all the chairs too!

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  6. I too think that this is your best post ever!

    The chairs are gorgeous - love all of them!

    Leeann x

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  7. Oh what TOTALLY absorbing post darling Jackie. I was getting quite sucked into the future of that cushion. Hanging on your every word.

    What a wonderful array of chairs or suitors too. The chaise lounge for me please. Great imagination oh fab one.
    xoxo

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  8. Love the post and all the chairs. I am a sucker for a leather chair. Love the one from the cellar!

    I am hoping this means your patient had a speedy recovery? Here's hoping!

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  9. Thank you so much for the beautiful comments you left me this morning...
    I want a love affair with the royal chair, but alas I am just a commoner also. Loved this post ~ it made me smile. Happy week-end Jackie!

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  10. Jackie,
    this was just adorably funny...very clever & creative....I loved it , thanks for the laugh
    and so like your humor.
    have a goood gooooood day

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  11. I got a kick out of that post! It was GREAT! WOnderful pics too! Thanks so much!!
    Beth

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  12. PS....just seeing how many posts I can write you in one day!

    I am going to my cousin's wedding tomorrow.....sadly I couldn't fit into the outfit I wanted to wear(grrrrr....) but I bought fab new shoes yesterday at Brent Cross and some great necklaces....pearls and grey beads.....inspired by your blog photo......I will be "channelling" you....although I know I won't have the "wow" factor you clearly have :)

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  13. What a chair slut and I love it! Jackie - if there was an award to give you for the BEST post, this one snagged it for sure. Be proud my British friend as this one is tops; you had us all @ hello. So glad you are back & can't thank you enough for your hilarious comments on my Thurs. post. I swear we are separated sisters. Our humor is on the same wave-length no doubt. Missed you & have a fabulous weekend ~ Xx deb

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  14. I wish she could have had a "Cinderella story", with that royal one... But life is no "Cinderella story, is it?
    But life is what you make it...

    Lovely post!

    Happy you are back!
    Have a wonderful weekend.
    Love/Luiza

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  15. This is too cute, I just cannot take it! What a wonderfully entertaining way to start the weekend. Thanks for sharing your tales of beautiful chairs.

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  16. Hi Jackie,
    I do hope that the lovely cushion can find her prince someday. All your images in this post are gorgeous and your writing...divine.
    Hugs,
    June

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  17. Oh My God Jackie what a fabulous post. Excellent writing, very creative. Off to read again, what a great post to start the weekend with :)

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  18. Jacqueline.. what a comeback... fabulously brilliant post... love it! You certainly are a talented one! Have Fun with your chairs xx Julie

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  19. You are amazing! This could have been a movie I would go see, over and over and even cry at!! I ADORE this post! So creative, so beautiful and so so true. Lovers come and they go, when that perfect fit comes along... no other seat is searched~
    xxo's
    Janet

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  20. j'aime beaucoup!
    lequel choisir pour rêver?

    bon weekend

    manon

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  21. And a BIG welcome back to you! Oh my god, this is the most amazing love story! I'll never look at a chair the same way - ever!

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  22. oh Jackie, welcome back babes.
    Great post, by the way please tell the sweet cushion that I never met the love of my life till I was 38, so she still has a couple of years left in her yet. Plus I got me a younger funky cushion, lol.

    So good to have you back.
    much love,
    Lia xx

    ps. thanks for all your lovely commentson my blog.

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  23. What a beautiful post! I really want to take a snooze on that chaise!

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  24. Well Miss Jackie I guess your time away hasn't dampened your humor....you are funnier then ever!!! It reads like a romantic novel....well like I think a romantic novel would read!!! Never read any! ha-ha!
    Glad you're back. btw haven't taken my computer in yet!!!
    Hugs,Carole

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  25. Surely someone out there knows a good chair looking to meet a mature but interesting cushion! Loved this post - fabulous to have you back at your best. Leigh

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  26. So glad that you are back, Jackie! ;) LOVE the white, chippy chairs with the floral pillows...yum! Have a great weekend!

    Smiles,
    Rachel

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  27. such a great post!
    Smiles!
    Michelle

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  28. Glad that you are up and running again, Jackie! Have a lovely weekend. XO

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  29. Yes those are some GORGEOUS chairs!!! And those pillows...*swoon*

    :) T

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  30. That is the cutest post about chairs I have ever seen! I love chairs!

    Gintare

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  31. Had to come back and have another read of your beautiful, yet hilarious post.. FABULOUS Jackie... So funny. xx Julie

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  32. All these chairs are amazing!

    You have a very nice blog, it's my first visit but I'm sure I'll be back soon.

    Caroline

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  33. Oh that was clever, funny, romantic-ish and naughty! Do you know a man with those characteristics? Shame, neither do I.

    Well done hon. She should have picked the Chaise. Tart. Kidding ..........:)

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  34. You have exquisite taste. I adore the white
    bedroom with the love pillows leading into
    the white bathroom. Also, love the patio -ish
    room with the chair and the lived in look.

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  35. Amazingly gorgeous post! So much great eye candy! Have a sweet day! x

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  36. LOL!! Twas like a chair soap opera...full of passion and plenty of scandal, but in the end love prevails. Jackie...Love the way your mind works!
    Brilliant post...so glad to see you're baaaaAck!
    XXXxx

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  37. I had great fun reading your love affair ;) And thanks for passing by on my blog
    Rock on \M/

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  38. Yessssss I love the little Brian and the band ofcourse haha... I follow them since the beginning and seen them tons of times and were happy to meet Brian at an after party at POP club in London... I think you and me ... are just 2 old rock b*&#!&*ches hahaha... visiting club decadence for years while being in London ;) I can go on and on about Rock and Roll ;P No live without music
    xx

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  39. What impecible taste you have! Whoah! I really enjoyed this post. One can never be comfortable in life without the PERFECT chair! Seriously!! :) The first two and the one by the fireplace are my favorites! :D

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  40. Ohhh those LOVE pillows are gorgeous! x

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  41. Jackie, you have outdone yourself with this post! I'm a chair addict and love every chair here so it was a real treat to read. I think this may be my favorite post to date!

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  42. Ohhhh... this was an amazing post!!! Lovely chairs and what a wonderful love affair story ;) If i write a long letter to Santa... do you think i get all of these gorgeous pillows for Christmas =)

    /Anita

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  43. A lovely post and a beautiful blog. Now I know who the quite prolific commenter Jacqueline is!

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  44. Just found your blog and loved it! I'll add you to my favourite blog list and will be following it, ok?! Have a great day,
    Rosa from Portugal

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  45. a chanel slipcover! insane :)
    dallas
    http://dillydallas.blogspot.com

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  46. Very cute post! Love the "chair affair" idea.

    I just found your blog and absolutely love it.

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  47. I just now found you through another link (you know how that goes...) I loved your story, your photos, and most especially your grand wit! I shall return!
    Brenda

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  48. I just LOVED this post. hysterical, witty, beautiful..just perfect!!!
    bunny

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  49. What a GORGEOUS post you did. The pictures are beautiful and inspiring...

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  50. Dear Jackie, yes they are elderflower berries and I use them as natural remedy when I have cold.
    It is very simple to do...just boil them with sugar and 4 dl of wather.
    You can also use yhem to do drinks,and in your thé.
    Thank you for your kind words, it makes me very happie that you like my work.
    Hugs
    Magdalena/Color Sepia

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  51. All been said here Jac - YOU ARE BRILLIANT GIRL! Loved, loved, loved this post, straight to the top of the Bloggy Class.
    Millie ^_^

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  52. Oh wow, wow! Great finds, love them all!

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  53. i could write a short story for each pic that you use in your posts.
    you have such an EYE!!

    xx

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  54. hi there, fab blog, love it! I'm going to steal that idea of writing along the ceiling (like a cornice) - that's sensational for my new home!

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  55. Wonderfully clever. So glad to have found your blog.

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  56. That is the cutest post about chairs I have ever seen! I love chairs.beds and mattresses online deals

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